People-Pleasing and Low Self-Esteem

Many people who struggle with low self-esteem also find themselves stuck in people-pleasing patterns. You might say yes when you want to say no. You might go out of your way to avoid conflict, keep the peace, or make others happy — even when it leaves you feeling resentful, anxious, or invisible.

At the heart of people-pleasing is often a quiet fear:– Will they still like me if I say no?– What if I disappoint them?– Maybe my needs don’t matter as much as theirs.

These thoughts don’t come from nowhere. They often grow from early life experiences — like being praised only when we were helpful, feeling responsible for others’ emotions, or being criticised when we expressed our own needs.

Over time, we learn that it feels safer to put others first. But constantly doing so can slowly chip away at our sense of self-worth.

Counselling can help you:

• Understand where these patterns come from

• Learn to set gentle, respectful boundaries

• Build self-worth that doesn’t rely on being liked or needed

• Begin valuing your own needs without guilt

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You are allowed to take up space in your own life. You matter — not just for what you give others, but for who you are.