“What the Hell Is Going On?” The Emotional Rollercoaster of Menopause

There’s a moment many women reach in life when they quietly ask —“What the hell is going on?”Is this my life now? Will it always feel this way? Will I ever feel human again?"

The menopause journey can be difficult to put into words because, let’s be honest, there are so many different symptoms to this “gift” that just keeps on giving, you can barely keep up.

I once read that there are around 34 symptoms associated with menopause — but I can’t help but wonder who wrote that list because I’ve personally experienced at least 60, and the number seems to rise, fall and change daily!

When Everything Feels Different

Some days you might find yourself more tearful or irritable than usual. People become your worst nightmare, your tolerance to bulls**t falls. You’re tired for no clear reason, or strangely detached from the person you used to be.

Your body feels different. Your sleep changes. And when you wake up, it’s anyone’s guess what mood you’ll be in.

You forget things you never would have before. You search for your belongings in obscure places at least a hundred times a day. You walk into a room and have to stop and think why you went there in the first place.

A Season of Upheaval

I hear these real, everyday struggles in my work — and yes, I’ve felt them myself too; every single day. Menopause has a way of shaking the ground beneath you — not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It can stir questions about identity, purpose, and belonging in ways that take you by surprise.

For many women, menopause doesn’t arrive in isolation. It often comes alongside other life transitions: children leaving home, caring for parents, changing relationships, or re-evaluating work, your life or your purpose.

I’ve sat with women who’ve said:

“I used to be so capable.” “I don’t recognise myself anymore.” “I don’t know what I want.”

And I’ve quietly recognised those words in myself too. It’s a season that can leave even the most grounded person feeling lost, fragile, or untethered — and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It means you’re human, and you’re in the middle of something deeply transformative.

The Emotional Side of Menopause

Menopause brings more than hot flushes and hormonal shifts — it can bring grief. Grief for the person you once were, the energy you once had, and the certainty you once carried.

There’s the frustration too — the things you could once eat but now only have to look at to get indigestion or put on weight. The sadness for the body that doesn’t behave like it used to. The mental fog that makes you feel like a stranger in your own head.

And then the unfairness hits:

Why do men wake up and go to bed in the same mood, while I experience every emotion known to humankind — at least twenty times a day!

But underneath the chaos, there can also be a quieter invitation. Menopause can open a space for reflection — for asking, Who am I now? That question, though unsettling, can become the start of a new kind of honesty and freedom.

How Counselling Can Help

Counselling offers a space to pause, breathe, and make sense of it all. It’s not about fixing you — it’s about helping you find yourself again within the change.

Together, we might explore:

• How hormonal and emotional shifts are affecting your mood and sense of self

• What loss and renewal look like for you at this stage

• Ways to manage anxiety, low mood, or irritability with gentleness rather than judgement

• The expectations placed on women — and how to begin releasing them

• What self-compassion looks like in a changing body and a changing life

  
  

In my work with women in this forever changing stage — and in my own experience — I’ve seen how healing it can be to simply have permission to talk honestly. To say, “I’m struggling,” and have that met with warmth rather than advice or dismissal.

Making Peace with Change

Menopause can feel like an ending — but it’s also a beginning. It can be a time of shedding roles, reassessing priorities, and reconnecting with what truly matters. There’s a deeper wisdom emerging, even if it feels messy or painful right now.

Counselling can help you tune into that quieter voice beneath the noise — the part of you that’s ready for gentler living, clearer boundaries, or simply more rest. Sometimes, it’s about finding your inner permission to press the “f**k it” button — and free yourself from expectations that no longer fit.

🌿 If this resonates with you…

If you’re finding this stage of life emotional or confusing, you’re far from alone. Counselling can offer a confidential, understanding space to talk, cry, laugh, and rediscover who you are beneath all the change.

You can reach me via the contact form if you’d like to explore this gently, at your own pace. You don’t have to go through this in silence — there’s space here for you, exactly as you are.